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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395111">Hatred of Sound</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobynJSwift/pseuds/RobynJSwift'>RobynJSwift</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Six - Marlow/Moss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst I guess, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne isn't open while she's having a problem again, Cathy supporting Anne, Cleves goes by Anna here, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Found Family, Misophonia, Panic Attacks, parrlyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:20:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobynJSwift/pseuds/RobynJSwift</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anne Boleyn has been taking a couple college classes in her free time to catch up on modern education and has suddenly discovered she can’t handle hearing very certain sounds and one of the only things she can think is that her sanity might have finally snapped. With each sound that triggers her, she starts to find there isn't anywhere that she can be safe from sounds.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1: Very, very, extraordinarily wrong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This chapter has a couple of misophonia-induced panic attacks. Just a warning.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anne Boleyn quickly adapted to the use of new technology, it was a perk of reincarnation and one of the key reasons why being reincarnated felt right. It wasn’t more key than her connection with the other queens, their home, but things like her phone in her back pocket felt like such a natural weight in her black skinny jeans. The ability to use it to channel music into her ears through earbuds also felt very natural, the way she put the cord around the back of her neck to accompany her choker became a part of those physical weights someone would simply get used to having.</p><p> </p><p>She felt the same with modern clothing, she quickly got used to tank tops and thinner dresses and flannel jackets. Especially the flannel jackets. She often wore her favorite one, the only one she could find that was her favorite shade of green accompanied by black. Cathy also liked to wear that same flannel, she said the scent comforts her when she’s having writer’s block or simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Well she isn’t really a morning person so she always wakes up on the wrong side, so perhaps the somehow-even-more-wrong side of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>Taking college classes felt pretty liberating for Anne, the ability to train her mind in something mental unlike those extremely physical routines they do for their show. It isn’t often that she lets herself partake in something that shows off her intellect or capability to study, she usually just gets really lazy whenever she can. The chance to learn like this was something that excited her really, the sense of accomplishment that came with each well-earned test score improved her fickle confidence twofold. She had to work harder than she expected but the victory was irreplaceable.</p><p> </p><p>As she kept her eyes on the table she was at in her history class, she wanted history specifically due to all she missed during the time she was considered “deceased”. Her notes, her classmates had said, were completely illegible to anyone in the modern age as people stopped using cursive so constantly. Her cursive made her lowercase letters short and swoopy and her capitals large and obvious and her letters unreadable to most as it seems to be interpreted as simply scribbling nowadays. She did her best to keep up with the facts being projected up on the projector, dates of deaths and instances and name and mistakes and victories.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of someone clicking their pen periodically sounded a couple clicks by the second and it felt more irritating than usual for some reason. She tried to refocus, to ignore it, look back at the front, continue with the next words. With each click a word fell out of her mind. But it was nothing, she thought, irritation at disturbances is normal. Her chest started to feel tight, like her torso was being wrapped in a corset just a little too hard.</p><p> </p><p>She deduced she was just having a bit of anxiety, it wasn’t anything she wasn’t able to handle. With a deep breath in she exhaled just as slowly. The feeling wasn’t gone, so she repeated it. And repeated it. And the sound just felt like it was getting louder, like it was lodging itself at the center of her head. She thought that it was dumb, someone pen clicking in class, don’t they know other people are trying to focus and learn?</p><p> </p><p>Her breathing faltered, slipping a little as her body began to vibrate with worry. Her head started to feel heavy with stress and light with breathlessness at the same time. The room felt colder and the straightened out her flannel jacket, buttoning it to conceal her gray tank top and keep her warmth closer. She could swear her hands and face were the only thing warm at the moment. Her hands felt like they needed to release energy, like she needed to go and physically stop the sound herself. She wanted to ask it to stop but her breathing was all wrong and her mindset was wrong and if she moved she’d lose her warmth and she wasn’t sure she could hold herself back from causing a scene or starting a fight.</p><p> </p><p>The sound felt as though it infected her bones, it had control over everything in that moment and she needed it back. With that thought, the sound stopped but it seemed to echo in her head. Faint voices broke through the fog of anxiety that clouded her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“-and for anyone that missed something, I’ll put the powerpoint up online. Feel free to stay back if you have any questions for me, every question is worth asking.”</p><p> </p><p>Anne didn’t know how to move for a moment, her hand had a tight hold on her pencil, she doesn’t even remember picking that up. Her mind started to clear up a bit, her face felt too warm, like how you feel just before you’re going to cry or scream or punch something. That wasn’t something her anxiety usually effected, but she figured she might just be having a weird day or something. Perhaps she woke up on the somehow-even-more-wrong side of the bed today.</p><p> </p><p>Trying to stand and put away her stuff, she figured the feeling would just fade with time like it usually did. She felt a bit wobbly at the anxiety that just coursed through her but most of the feelings faded, her head felt back to normal, she felt a bit chilly still but she was able to think and move and that was enough. She couldn’t remember the span of time between her walking out of the class and to the car where Cathy would pick her up.</p><p> </p><p>Cathy was there, on time and in one of the closest parking spots as usual, about lunch time where they'd decide if they’d want to go home or eat out together. Anne opened the car a bit slowly, her full strength not completely back yet from her little episode. The other queens didn’t let Boleyn drive anymore, not after she was a few inches away from hitting a man that she knew had said some inappropriate things toward Kitty when they were talking to fans.</p><p> </p><p>As Cathy heard Anne seat herself and the belt click she spoke, “So, how was class, Bo?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne looked out the front window for a second before trailing her gaze to her girlfriend, “Well it was-,” she paused, she didn’t want to lie, not to Cathy, “It wasn’t too great but it’s nothing to worry about.”</p><p> </p><p>Parr stopped preparing to drive and made sure they were still in park before letting her hands off the wheel. Her gaze became serious and she let the silence settle into Anne’s nerves for a moment before speaking, “That usually means something happened, sweetheart, I know you. Is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>The girl in green nodded, she was fairly sure that it wasn’t anything to worry about, honest. She smiles a bit sadly, “Yeah, I just had a bit of anxiety during class, nothing really new or surprising.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy turned to face toward Boleyn better and looked a bit concerned, “You’re feeling fine now though, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne’s smile became real as she felt normal and loved all over again at Parr’s concern, “Yeah, yeah, I stopped spiraling as class ended. It’s fine, I’m fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Her girlfriend looked down for a moment before she looked forward and began to drive as she spoke, “Okay, good. Sorry if I made it seem like I was skeptical of your confession, I know you always eventually tell me what’s wrong but that really doesn’t stop me from worrying.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to apologize, mi amour. I understand very well that my tendency to not say anything can be a cause for concern. After that silent little episode I had in class, all I really want to do is go sit on the couch with some junk food,” she confessed, which was fair, she was still a bit worn from the adrenaline drain.</p><p> </p><p>Cathy chuckled as she turned out of the parking lot, “Understandable, let’s go raid the pantry.”</p><p> </p><p>Anne felt a bit more settled with such a relaxing plan, surely she was just having a weird day and nothing was really wrong, right?</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Wrong. Very, very, extraordinarily wrong.</p><p> </p><p>She was stuck here in class again a couple days after the last, someone was tapping their pencil on the desk this time and she felt thrown into breathlessness and possibly some anger even quicker somehow. Her body felt cold again and her face felt hot with rage and her hands were shaking with adrenaline-charged energy. She felt trapped in the public eye, like everyone would look at her if she got up and left the room or asked them to stop or did anything more than sit there.</p><p> </p><p>Her stomach felt like it knotted itself with rage and sickness, her legs felt like weights, her torso constricted by sounds, breath uneven, face too warm, hands too warm, face too hot, hands too unstable. She felt her throat tighten and her eye fill with tears and she wondered if the sound would stop. She looked down into her lap as she imagined stopping it, she saw herself unable to act rationally, she imagined herself approaching them before pushing the person out of their seat, she imagined herself approaching them before stealing her pencil and throwing it across the room and crying. She imagined herself going up to them and punching them and kicking them then she would just be left scared and angry-but-satisfied and the sound would be stopped but she’d still be left crying and shaking and-</p><p> </p><p>“Shit”, she whispered as tears started falling before Anne realized how her eyes had kept filling more and more with tears that she hadn’t anticipated. She could only hear the sound of the pencil tapping, she felt distant and present and stuck and upset. Why was she upset? Nothing was happening to her, she was here, wanting to learn and keep enjoying her new life without some king breathing down her neck, loving having Cathy so close to her heart, loving having a family to go to for anything and everything. There wasn’t any reason to be upset, but she felt heavy, she couldn’t feel anything but heavy and uncomfortable and why was she sweating when she was so cold and crying when she was safe and angry at someone just for making a sound over and over? She wasn’t even annoyed anymore, she was enraged and scared and confused and crying and still in this fucking classroom with this fist-to-the-face worthy sound and she didn’t want to actually hurt anyone, why did she want to hurt them? She’d redirect any of her violent actions toward herself if she had to, they didn’t do anything to deserve whatever she wanted to do to them.</p><p> </p><p>She covered her ears, the sound breaking through the tiny gaps, she shoved her index fingers into her ears, they were too big to cover the area. She shoved in her littlest fingers, they still didn’t block it, she stayed that way for a moment before remembering the small cord of weight around her neck. Her earbuds. Which she’d get in trouble for using, perhaps, no one ever tried out of respect for this teacher. But screw respect, she was crying and not breathing right and now snot is dripping out of her nose which is really gross and her fingers are too shaky to be quick as she rushes to settle the things in her ears and slide out her phone and make sure they’re connected as she starts to put on whatever song, whatever sound, anything but that horrid tapping.</p><p> </p><p>Anything else works, the volume is raised quickly and her ears are probably receiving enough sound for Anne to really, really know that she’s probably damaging her eardrums right now and everyone else can probably hear the music. But she doesn’t care, she doesn’t even know what lyrics are being said, but it’s a breath of fresh air. It’s a breath she can finally take while her face is leaking with tears and snot and ragged breaths. She’s silently glad no one has seemed to notice, or perhaps no one is bothered enough to approach her, or maybe her just crying and panicking is nothing because they can feel how she wanted to hurt the pencil-tapper.</p><p> </p><p>With deep breath after deep breath with small stops to keep her sobs quiet and one shaky hand stuffed under her thigh because it’s warm and it forces it to be a bit more still there and the other was used to wipe away tears and snot with her plain shirt. She hated the thought of people seeing the mess on her face and knew she could button her flannel to cover it when it’s on her shirt, the shirt would definitely need to be cleaned immediately but that didn’t really matter to her right now.</p><p> </p><p>She stayed seated, gaze down, settling, settling, settling from such an intense experience. Her mind felt wrong, she knew she’d had panic attacks, she knew she had trauma and triggers that came with her past and she was doing so well with handling it. She swore that her sanity was broken or something because panicking over trauma usually doesn’t make her angry at someone else, this did though. This wasn’t based around her trauma either really, not once did she think about how the tight feeling in her throat was a sign she was going to be beheaded again or how the scar was shameful.</p><p> </p><p>Anne freed her hand from under her thigh and fiddled with the A dangling from her choker while she thought about this. She hated having to think about this but how was she ever going to explain herself. She knew Kitty never had reactions like this, none of the other queens did either, so none of them would probably know what it was that was happening to her. If it was something normal even, it crossed her mind that it might not even be normal, that it was so absurd that no one would know what it was. She needed to figure it out so she could explain it properly, she didn’t want to tell the other queens and make them scared of what she might do if she ever acted on a thought like the ones she’d just had. But maybe she was wrong in thinking this was becoming a thing, yeah, that was it. She must just be having another mentally poor day or something. It’ll be gone soon, maybe not tomorrow but soon. No one has to know if the problem will just go away on its own.</p><p> </p><p>She nodded to herself and quietly waited for class to end, deciding she’ll go over the powerpoint at home on her phone and finish her notes then. Not wanting to leave mid-class she let herself doodle the rest of the class away, not even giving herself the chance to have another poor reaction as she left her earbuds in. When she hardly noticed people in the rows in front of her getting up, she packed up as though nothing had happened and as she left she kept her gaze down just in case her eyes or nose looked irritated. With a pause on her way toward where Cathy parks, she decided to go to the nearest bathroom and bring out her small emergency make-up pouch. She only kept the thing for days like this, really, not because she would lose her mind over something being a little off or anything.</p><p> </p><p>With her make-up freshly reapplied and the whites of her eyes looking only a bit pink, she left and hoped that Cathy wouldn’t look too closely at her. She only had to keep this to herself until it passed, it’s less embarrassing to say this stuff when you’ve overcome it and left it in the dust after all. She went to the car, it’s usual spot, and opened the door, forcing her body to act as though it didn’t feel heavy with weakness from her experience in class today.</p><p> </p><p>“So, was class better today, Annie,” Cathy asked in her usual caring tone and naturally beautiful voice.</p><p> </p><p>Anne plastered on a smile and summoned some energy to make Cathy a bit less suspicious of how she felt, she definitely couldn’t answer the question asked though, “I was really distracted today, mi amour, I’m definitely gonna need a bit of a break at home before I do what I can to make up for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, alright,” Cathy started pulling out of the parking spot then continued to drive as she spoke, “Perhaps we should go on a walk in the nearby park with the lake, I need to clear my head a bit as well.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sound like a good idea,” Anne hoped that’d be all she need for this feeling to go away, a hint of dread set in at how her history class lasted a bit over an hour on mondays, wednesdays and fridays. Her next chance to test if this thing was over would be on friday, two days to do everything she can to stop this from happening again. At least now she knew that she could use earbuds to give herself a moment to recover when needed, especially since the teacher and her classmates didn’t pay much attention to her.</p><p> </p><p>That’s it, she’s sure it’ll end before friday, it’ll be over and then she’ll be able to do class normally and not worry Cathy and not feel so sick about her own violent thoughts and it’ll all be better and fresh and freeing.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t escape it. She was so sure that this thing would end if she tried hard enough. Boleyn tried for weeks, monday after wednesday after friday of just testing how to get rid of it, trying to see if she can expose herself to the sounds in hopes of getting herself back to being simply annoyed. She knew that wasn’t how it worked with things like PTSD but that was formed so much earlier and with-with reason and it made sense how <em> that </em> happened and how <em> that </em> formed but not this. This made no sense. It was even more illogical and ridiculous than any of that other stuff. Not that it was particularly ridiculous, she knew it was normal. But right now everything about her felt illogical and ridiculous and frustrated with how this kept happening and happening.</p><p> </p><p>She was so lucky that she had the freedom to move at home when she was bothered. It kept her from lashing out. It didn’t keep the emotions from happening, every time she got mad and scared which just combined into hopeless frustration.</p><p> </p><p>Cleves hopefully didn’t notice every time Anne left the room as she shook her leg hard enough for her foot to make little repetitive stomps, hopefully no one noticed when she’d just hide with her earbuds when a cricket would start sounding it’s stupid repetitive chirps at night, hopefully Aragon didn’t notice when she left the room just because she was tapping her pen on the table when she was doing paperwork or Kitty Kat when she’d tap her fingers on the table at dinner or how she’d find herself awake in a panic if someone else’s alarm woke her up, or even her own which she just changed to using her phone vibrating on her bed to wake her up since it didn’t make sound. That also meant her sleep schedule had to change to where she woke up before anyone else’s alarm could wake her up so she could have mornings to herself and her earbuds ready so she wouldn’t lose her mind.</p><p> </p><p>The whole thing was draining, thing by thing that she noticed set her off. Anything that happened repetitively would throw her head-first into an ocean of rage. Her sanity was dropping, her patience was short, she couldn’t sleep in Cathy’s room as much as she wanted to because she didn’t want to wake Cathy with her dumb phone alarm and she could feel how much it was bothering Cathy because Anne knows she thinks she did something wrong but she didn’t and Anne tells her but it doesn’t seem to work because she keeps doing all these little things. And it’s breaking her, having to adjust and adjust and move and cope and cover her ears with songs and wake up earlier than she’s used to. But she has to because if she doesn’t she’s scared she won’t be able to hold herself back if she’s thrown too far into the rage.</p><p> </p><p>Anne doesn’t really know what to think anymore, hope feels a bit lost, her energy drained, she spends time with Cathy but she still yearns to be able to wake up beside her. She knew she was broken, but this feels like a new layer of cracks she just didn’t need.</p><p> </p><p>But she'll press on. She's going to keep going. She's strong enough to, she knows she's strong enough. So she will be, no exceptions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2: Either Way its a Process</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A bit of upset Anne as she tries to settle from a panic attack but no descriptions of panic attacks.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cathy knows so badly that something is wrong, something has been wrong for nearly a whole month. She’s worried, worried about Anne and as much as her bit of insecurity knows it isn’t about her it almost feels like it is. But with a bit of thinking on it, she knows from past experience Anne only ever has trouble helping herself, she’s told Cathy very honestly when something was wrong that dealt with the both of them. Which she found pretty sweet that she was that dedicated to keeping their relationship as strong as they could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Cathy could see it, how much Anne wanted to do things and wouldn’t and grumble in her head over whatever was happening and she’s been changing so many of her habits. It’s definitely a problem and Anne knows it has to do with just her so she’s keeping it in. Somehow she needs to catch her before this mess explodes in both their faces, or maybe even the other queens as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s it. She needs to ask the other queens if they’ve noticed anything because Anne probably tries to keep it further from Cathy because she’ll face it head-on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She decided that before she’d leave to pick up Anne, she’d try and ask as many of the other queens as possible. Leaving from her pondering at the desk, she tried to remember who all was still home but she really had no idea nowadays because everyone’s picked up their own out-of-the-house hobbies. Well everyone except Cathy, writing and reading and television were perfectly fine indoors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stepping out of her room, she went to the one furthest from her room, Anna’s room. Listening a bit, she could hear some music playing through the door, some sort of Swing song she thinks. Knocking just loud enough to be heard over the music, she waited for some sort of answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause of time before the music stopped and the door opened, Cleves stood just before the doorway, a confident smile on her face, “Hey, Cathy, you need something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr took a deep breath, not completely sure how to approach the topic, she wasn’t especially close with Cleves, those positions were held by Jane and Kitty. She just jumped right into what she wanted to know, “Have you noticed anything odd going on with Anne?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anna’s smile quickly dropped to a more neutral expression, “That was quite a forward way to ask,” Cathy’s expression turned nervous for a second so Cleves quickly recovered, “but that’s fine. I’m glad you want to help her. I don’t know exactly what’s going on or anything but I’m sure you’ve already noticed how she’s sort of been avoiding everyone lately. She doesn’t even stick around me much anymore when it’s just us. We’d always been pretty good just liking each other’s presence or talking about very absurd things, I don’t know what happened. Sorry I don’t have anything that could help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr nodded, “Yeah, no, that’s fine. I appreciate you answering. I’ll go ask the others as well. Thanks for letting me interrupt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cleves gave her a short nod and a soft, “Good luck,” before closing the door. The music returning very quickly after the door shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy marked off Anna in her mental list of queens to check with then simply proceeded to the next room, an open door, Jane’s room, she lightly knocked which still pushed it open a bit. Aragon and Jane were both in there, Jane had been showing Aragon something on her laptop from the looks of it. Or maybe asking for help, but it wasn’t like Aragon knew much more than Jane did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having caught both of their attention, she was oblivious to the concern on her face but did her best to give a small smile before giving a little wave, “Hey, Jane, Aragon. I was wondering if I could ask you something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aragon tilted her head a little, “It’s about Anne, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy felt completely caught despite being ready to ask her question all over again, she looked down a bit, “Yeah, I was wondering if either of you’d noticed anything about how Anne’s been acting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jane nods a little, “She hasn’t had any problems around me, she definitely seems upset about something but she really hasn’t acted as different around me as I’ve noticed she has been with everyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aragon seems a little stunned at the information, “I thought it was everyone, you’ve been watching that closely?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr was shocked at the information as well, she hadn’t had much of a chance to notice anything because most of her time with Anne has been them being alone, park walks, couch cuddling, simply being around each other through the day but not the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jane shrugged, “I was a bit worried, I knew Cathy would try and approach it but my worry got the better of me and I ended up watching for anything off, she’s been leaving the room often but before that she stiffens and sometimes flinches. Her leaving isn’t at a normal pace either, there’s a shift, she goes from relaxed to something that’s probably fear and she tries to walk normally but it ends up sounding a little bit like she’s running away. She almost sounds like Kitty first had when she came back with trauma and wasn’t used to all of us. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Cathy, I was hoping she already approached you about whatever it may have been.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy then got a bit scared, she wondered if everyone, save Jane, had been hurting her without knowing it. What could it possibly be? Anne, a few weeks ago, had some problems in her classes, not with learning but-. She’d had a panic attack in class. She brushed it off like nothing and the next day she didn’t seem much better. She spoke, “That’s definitely it, she’s been acting odd for a few weeks but before that started she’d had a panic attack in class. I’m just confused because she’s been pretty open about her trauma in detail, at least toward me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aragon shook her head, “That’s so odd of her, I don’t know anything that would help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr smiled sadly, “Don’t worry, I think I’ve got the information I need. I’m going to see if I can catch her at school and try to see for myself what’s happening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jane gave a tiny wave, “Alright, Cathy, I hope that helped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy waved back as she took a step backward, “Yeah, it definitely did a bit, thank you. Both of you. I’m going head off now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good luck,” she heard from Aragon as Parr quickly left the house to the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive in itself wasn’t very far at all, that’s why Anne picked the school, she wasn’t looking for some big degree or anything, she just wanted to learn what she could. Cathy had found it kind of attractive, which wasn’t weird, being smart is attractive. Most people wouldn’t expect it but Boleyn can keep up really well with Cathy’s conversations about literature, she’s just as good of a writer as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She got to the school before she realized it and left the car to look for Anne’s class. Her plan was to wait outside, maybe catch her girlfriend off guard in hopes of getting some new information about what was going on. She didn’t think too much about a plan, she was mostly just desperate to do whatever she could to try while not having enough knowledge to understand the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne had told her the room number, which she found pretty easy as she just walked into the campus in the direction that she saw her walk from when picking her up. Checking her phone clock she saw there was about a half hour before the class would end. She was definitely pretty early considering she was usually parked about half that early just so she’d be sure to get the spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr had found the class, found the nearest bench and waiting on her phone, glancing up to see if Anne’s come out. She glanced so many times that it might look suspicious even but she didn’t care about that, she was just worried about Anne and that wasn’t weird at all. Seriously, she needs to get this girl into the habit of spilling her guts out, at least to Cathy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, after what felt like much, much longer than a half hour, the class in the history room started spilling out of the room. Everyone except Anne. Cathy got up to approach the class, perhaps check if she was inside (which she wasn’t sure was even allowed for the campus but her girlfriend’s being weird and she’s concerned and doesn’t plan to hurt anyone so whatever). As she got a couple meters away from the door, out came the girl, a Boleyn in her favorite flannel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she exited the room, she looked like she was still in the depths of distress, fists clenched, hair a bit messy, gaze downward and out of sight as she was slouched, the cord to her earbuds hanging in sight due to her posture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy was nervous to scare her own girlfriend, especially if this was trauma based, so she kept herself walking a bit in front of Boleyn, waving a hand where her gaze would be. The action stopped Anne as she looked to Cathy, tears still falling down her face and breathing uneven.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a second of pause as if maybe she was just imagining the sight, Anne rubbed her tears away with her sleeve and looked at Cathy before more fell. She then quickly clung to Parr as though she hadn’t seen her in weeks. Boleyn was still shaking, crying, she was a bit too warm in the face and weak in the body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy immediately instinctually held onto her, tightening as whatever was troubling Anne brought a weight that seemed to sink into her body. She couldn’t seem to hold herself up, or maybe she didn’t want to. Pulling back a bit so she could guide her girlfriend to sit somewhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they got to the nearest bench, Anne leaned against Cathy before wrapping her arms around her again, Parr was almost surprised the girl let her guide her to sit somewhere with how desperately she was holding onto her. They stayed that way for a while, Anne taking quite a while to calm, Cathy not wanting to press the topic just in case it set her off into more upset panic, she simply held her and rubbed circles on her back. After a while, sniffling subsided and her grip fell weaker, more relaxed, likely exhausted. The quiet settled for Parr before she noticed the slight sounds coming from Anne, or rather her earbuds. She couldn’t come up with some answer as to why those were in use right now, she really needed an explanation if she was going to understand anything that was happening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Catching Anne’s attention with a rub of the arm instead of the back, Anne still looked a bit of a mess, her whatever makeup she used was definitely gone from her face, or perhaps she just didn’t use any today but tear streaks were very apparent. The sight of such irritated eyes and slight paleness and dead-exhausted eyes broke her heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wiping away some of the wetness from Anne’s cheeks, she tilted her head, noticing one earbud wasn’t in Anne’s ear she spoke softly, “Sweetheart, what’s going on with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne gulped, pulling herself into a sitting position on her own, legs crossed on the bench as she faced Cathy, “I don’t know what to do anymore, mi amour.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wording scared Cathy, was Anne debating giving up? Like giving up her life, because she’s worth so much that that’s not allowed to happen, it couldn;t. She kept herself steady, ready to support her girlfriend however possible, “What do you mean, Bo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Boleyn dipped her body a bit forward, rocking herself slightly, “I don’t know what to do, I feel so tired and I think I’m going insane and how I’m feeling doesn’t even make sense, I don’t understand it and I don’t know how-,” she paused to take a deep breath, “I don’t know how to make it stop, it just won’t stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy slowly gripped Anne’s shoulders, almost scared the girl would fall apart like a broken glass at any second, “What makes you think you’re going insane, Annie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking another deep breath before she started to speak, she did her best to look Parr in the eyes as she spoke in a little slightly-frantic voice, “I’m getting scared just by hearing dumb little things, pencil tapping and leg shaking a-and finger tapping and alarm clocks and-and pen clicking and it isn’t just me getting scared, I-I’m getting mad too. Like really, r-really mad to this point where I start to scare myself and when I hear the sounds it lodges in my brain and I can’t stop it,” she shakes her head, “I just keep hearing it until I fix it, it keeps going and going until I leave it or,” she grabbed her earbuds, the one hanging and the one from her ear, her voice begins to crack “I end up having to block it out because it-it just doesn’t stop, Cathy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parr puts her hands on both of Anne’s cheeks to keep her gaze from dropping before tilting her own head up to Anne’s forehead to plant a little kiss there. She keeps her lips there for an extended moment before putting their foreheads together, dropping one hand off her face and bringing the other to the back of her girlfriend’s neck. “Anne Boleyn. I’m really going to need you to trust me here, you trust me, right?” Anne nodded, only barely due to their forehead contact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy continued, “You and I are going to go get you a smoothie to get you feeling a little better, then we’re going to go home and figure out what’s been going on with you. Because I’m sure you aren’t the only one who’s been having to fight through this kind of thing, there must be a name for this. So you and I are going to find a name for these feelings you’ve been having and then we’re going to see what we can do. Together. But I’ll take the lead a little because you’ve been a bit stuck in your own head, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne broke their forehead contact before giving Cathy a small peck on the lips, which translated to a small ‘thank you’ before she nodded, her gaze falling a bit downward, “Okay. Okay. That sounds,” she paused to think, “That sounds helpful.” There was a short silence before she spoke again, “What if we don’t find anything?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy shook her head a little, “There’s going to be something. And if there isn’t then we’ll still try and see what we can do. Either way it’s a process. One that we’re going through together. Now that you’ve told me you don’t have to worry about how I’ll react. So, let’s go get you that smoothie and head home, alright,” she questioned, holding out a hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Boleyn nodded once more, grabbing Cathy’s hand as they both stood and went off toward the car.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Meeting for Anne</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The last chapter, I didn't plan for this to be so long when I started. I wrote this all in a couple days because I felt the sudden urge to share this condition. I'll detail more at the end but here's the last bit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were home, comfortable and quiet in Cathy’s room. Cathy had pulled out her laptop to start searching, ready for some sort of difficult journey to try and find the information she wanted. Perhaps she was too used to the way you’d have to look in the library for ages if you didn’t bother learning the sorting system. But it wasn’t too long before they found it, it was much quicker than either of them expected. Anne was sat casually cross-legged near the edge of her girlfriend’s bed as she let Parr sit at the desk, searching things.</p><p> </p><p>Cathy asked, breaking the smoothie-slurp-filled-quiet, “So, Misophonia, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn stopped the slurping of her mixed berry smoothie, “I mean it sounds like it. I-,” she paused, “I just feel dumb for not looking into it sooner, that was so quick.”</p><p> </p><p>Parr nodded in agreement as she kept looking through various articles on the topic, “Yeah, a short search about ‘rage over repetitive sounds’ and I got you a name for it. But I don’t blame you for feeling the way you did, it sounds horrible. You said a good chunk of the symptoms match, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne nodded a bit, “Irritation, urges of physical and verbal aggression that took a lot of effort to not act on, taking evasive action definitely happened a lot.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy nodded, “Yeah, I don’t think it could be anything else. But it seems when I look over discussions of it, no one has figured out a successful therapy for it. A hint disappointing, I’d say, but you seem to have the right idea with the earbuds. A lot of people are saying that’s how they adjust as well. You probably shouldn’t be blaring it into your ears though, maybe we can get you something that blocks out external sounds better.”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn took another short sip of her smoothie, “That sounds wonderful. Er,” she paused, voice becoming a bit vulnerable, “Cathy?”</p><p> </p><p>Parr turned her attention to Anne, spinning her chair toward her, “What’s going on, everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne nodded quickly, “Yeah, yes, everything’s fine right now. I was just-I was wondering like how-or maybe why you’re getting into this so easily? I’ve said I don’t feel sane, does that not make you feel weird about me?”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy got up out of her seat so she could grab both of Anne’s hands, “You’re already traumatized and have a disorder from it, is this really any weirder? I mean I guess because you aren’t used to it, probably, but you’re still you even if you feel like punching people. I mean you already felt like punching people sometimes anyway, it’s cute when you get protective of the queens. But there isn’t really any reason to see you differently, this is just an obstacle that we need to find a way to adjust to. In a healthy way, not all by yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn dropped her head onto Cathy’s hands, torso shuddering a little with something between a sob and a laugh, “Gosh, I love you. I’m so crazy lucky to have you. Shit, I must have shut myself off really hard because even this kindness is making me-,” she stopped speaking her voice pitching higher at the end of her words.</p><p> </p><p>Parr got up to half-sit in front of Anne and remove a hand from Anne’s hold to be able to hug her shoulders, “Of course, I love you, Anne, I’ve got your back, always.,” she paused, unsure how to bring up what comes next she makes sure to keep her tone soft as she asks, “You realize we’re going to have to explain this to the other queens though, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne just kind of freezes with her head against Cathy for a moment before mumbling and barely audible, “I don’t wanna,” followed by a normally volumed, “they’re going to think I’m insane.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy shook her head and rolled her eyes slightly, “Anne Boleyn, you were insane before this Misophonia thing started so maybe we all like your crazy. Also, they never looked down on you when we had to tell them that you also had beheading trauma, remember? They’ll still all love you the same, and I’m sure after you started to avoid basically everyone they’ve probably been more worried than anything else. They aren’t just going to lose their head at you, they know you’ve been kinda sensitive  and anti-human lately.”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn removed her head and broke their hug before she looked up at Parr with an unamused expression, “Did you just use my own song title to-”</p><p> </p><p>Parr nodded before facepalming, which made Anne chuckle, Cathy removed her hand from her face and at seeing Boleyn’s smile she couldn’t help but match it, “Well there’s a nice expression I haven’t seen in a while.”</p><p> </p><p>The smile stayed on Anne’s face, a real one, “Yeah, only you can lift me up so quickly, it’s a miracle. You’re a miracle.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy smirked a little, “We kind of all are, reincarnation was never verified to be possible before our existence.”</p><p> </p><p>Anne nodded, “Yeah, definitely,” her smile dropped for a moment before she looked up at Parr and smiled again, “I think I can do this, tell them about what’s been happening, as long as you’re there to help.”</p><p> </p><p>Parr nodded in return, “I’ve always thought you could, when do you think you’ll be ready?”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn looked a little hurt as she thought, she was definitely dreading that she’d have to do this, be open with more than just Cathy and Kitty, “I think I have to do it as soon as possible, they all do things that set me off, or trigger me, I suppose”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy really was unsure if Anne could do this without crying in front of the others, which she knew her girlfriend really, really hated doing. But knowing that just made her admire the strength she had, dealing with all of this intense weight for a few weeks all on her own when it was obviously a really big issue. Parr is aware that sometimes it’s easier to say nothing but there’s still an impressive amount that a person can withstand on their own.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s do it now, if you think you can,” Cathy recommended, “I mean we’ve just discovered though so if you want to research a little more to prepare yourself if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>Anne shook her head, “I know all I need to know. There’s no known cure, only things that stop me from hearing these sounds help. I should be able to ask for something little like a bit of cooperation in assisting me by not making repetitive sounds, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Parr thought for a second, “It may take time to help them create habits of not making those sounds but I’m sure they’ll do what they can. Do you want me to check if everyone is able to speak right now?”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn smiled nervously, “No, no, thanks though. I’ll just call up a house meeting over the group chat and give everyone like fifteen minutes, perhaps? So we can gather our information.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy nodded before giving Anne a little kiss on the forehead, “Sounds perfect, Bo.”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>All of the other queens had gathered pretty quickly before Anne and Cathy, the four of them were seated on couches, Aragon in her armchair and the others across the main couch. None of them had any clue what was going on, they didn’t really have any idea what the house meeting could be for, Anne usually didn’t call any meeting unless it was for the sake of Kitty or Cathy and Aragon on that one occasion. </p><p> </p><p>Katherine, sitting at the couch center, spoke up first, tone a bit soft, “Is this going to be about Anne?”</p><p> </p><p>The other three looked at her, Jane was sat at Kitty’s right as she said, “Pretty sure it is, they did just get back from Anne’s class. And Anne called the meeting”</p><p> </p><p>Cleves sat up more attentively at Kitty's other side, “Wait, Anne called it? Has she ever called her own meeting?"</p><p> </p><p>Aragon shook her head, "Never, it's usually Cathy who calls meetings for Anne."</p><p> </p><p>Jane’s concern was veiled under a calm, waiting expression, “Hopefully what we’ve been called to meeting for isn’t too serious.”</p><p> </p><p>Katherine wasn’t as good at trying to hide the concern on her face and grabbed Anna’s hand to comfort herself, “Yeah, hopefully.”</p><p> </p><p>They stayed quiet as they heard Cathy’s room door open, Cleves taking firm hold of Kitty’s hand as she tensed and Jane and Aragon sharing a glance before they all turned their attention to the entering duo. Anne and Cathy had their hands linked as well, Boleyn having a hold on a piece of paper. The sight was a bit odd, Anne seemed embarrassed to be there, like she wanted to curl up and wait for whatever she had to talk about to be over, it was the kind of expression she did everything she could to hide from the other queens.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to get you started, Bo,” Cathy questioned softly as they sat at the other side of the little coffee table across from the main couch.</p><p> </p><p>Anne put the paper in front of her on the little table, she shook her head, “I just need a second.” She looked over the page once before taking a deep breath and going over it once more. There wasn’t much on the page, just all the points she wanted to be sure she got to when speaking. Somehow this was more difficult than being on a stage singing about her beheading, then again she can’t be seen as insane for that.</p><p> </p><p>Her voice felt caught as her gaze was down toward the paper, out of the upper edge of her gaze she could see a leg shaking, the source of a bunch of little taps, and suddenly she noticed how her breath felt as stuck as her voice. She tightened her hold on Cathy’s hand and half-whispered, “Cleves,” when her breath gave her the chance.</p><p> </p><p>Cathy, having heard her, looked from Anne then to Anna and back between both of them for a moment, “Ah, Cleves, could you stop shaking your leg, please?”</p><p> </p><p>Anna looked confused for a moment but did stop, looking at the other queens who all shared little glances of confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Parr put an arm around Anne’s lower back, she scooted slightly closer, “Do you need anything else,” she asked, trying to get a look at Boleyn’s face to see if she was spiraling.</p><p> </p><p>Shaking her head, the girl in green took a deep breath and adjusted her posture to ease her ability to breathe, “I got this,” she breathed out softly before looking at each of the queens. Her heart became warmed, looking at each member of her family waiting to listen, Anna’s confused expression patiently waiting, Kitty’s slightly anxious concerned gaze, Jane’s calm demeanor and patient expression, Aragon’s expression could be mistaken for stoic but Anne knew it was a cover for a bit of concern that showed through the little crease in her brow.</p><p> </p><p>She smiled a little, just for a second before she started a bit more seriously, “So I’ve been having this issue lately,” she took another little breath as her breathing finally stabilized enough to not be a bother, “Sounds have been making me anxious or mad and I can’t control it. I’ve been doing what I can to deal with this on my own by leaving rooms and other adjustments. It isn’t all sounds, it’s just anything that’s repetitive, like pencil tapping or alarms.”</p><p> </p><p>“And,” Cathy questioned, urging her to continue softly.</p><p> </p><p>Anne nodded, “And I’ve been scared. I’ve been scared of myself and how angry I get. The-the very moment I get mad, which is pretty quickly, I end up feeling like I’ve snapped, I get these immediate urges to do violent things to try and stop the sounds. Sometimes I just end up barreling toward a panic attack, sometimes both. Almost all of the time both. So, that’s what’s been happening,” she looked down, feeling ashamed that these thoughts are there in her mind and ready to hear whatever level of unacceptance the other queens have to share.</p><p> </p><p>Cathy’s hold on Anne’s hand tightened a little, moving it to be held between both of her hands. The other queens were quiet for a moment but Kitty was the first to contribute, “So what can we do to help? Are you debating getting professional help?”</p><p> </p><p>Boleyn flinched slightly, a bit more out of habit at this point before she looked at Kat, eyes full of pleading, “There isn’t some sort of cure or treatment that we know about, nothing’s been verified as successful. Most professionals haven’t even heard of it, it’s not in their books, chances are I couldn’t even get a proper diagnosis from a professional.”</p><p> </p><p>Aragon quickly questioned, “So does this condition have a name?”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy responded, “Yeah, Misophonia. It translates to ‘hatred of sound’, it’s a somewhat direct name, right,” she asked toward Anne who nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Cleves added, “So what are we going to do about it?”</p><p> </p><p>Anne’s posture made her seem to shrink a little more as she lifted a hand to fiddle with the A on her choker, her voice was soft as she spoke, “I was kind of hoping that you all would help me by trying not to make those kinds of sounds, they make home feel like a danger zone.” She felt bad even having to ask, it felt like such a ridiculous request, this whole thing felt ridiculous because she should totally be able to handle a few little sounds. But she can’t, it’s so draining and overwhelming.</p><p> </p><p>Jane then asked, making sure to keep her tone gentle, “So, Anne, if we’re going to do that, which I assume the rest of you are fine with,” she paused and looked to the series of various nods she got from the others, “we’re going to need you to tell us when we do something like that. Don’t be afraid to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>Anne nodded, releasing a deep breath before she spoke, “I can try, I’m willing to try. A-and I’m really glad you all are too. I just- if I’m going to approach you in such an emotional state I’m scared I’ll hurt one of you, act on one of those uncontrollable violent thoughts that forces itself to the front of my mind,” she shifted from being cross-legged on the ground to having her knees up to her chest, “I really don’t want to hurt any of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Cathy moved so her left hand held Anne’s left so her right arm could go around Anne’s back again for comfort, “We’ll be sure to keep that in mind, right?” She looked over the others who also nodded but Anne’s gaze was down so she didn’t see them. “Anne, look, all of us are ready to support you, see,” she questioned, catching Boleyn’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>Anne looked to all of them, listening, ready to take action. The truth behind their willingness to support sunk in a little more and a bit of relief filled her body, warming her heart again as well as her face as she kept herself from tearing up noticeably.</p><p> </p><p>Cleves seemed to notice though as she smirked a little when she questioned, “Boleyn, are you- are you about to cry?”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head quickly, tilting a little to lean into Cathy’s hold on her, “What, no. I-I was just- I didn’t expect this to go so well or-or the conversation to be this easy. I-I was waiting to be told I was insane or-or that I was a hazard or something.”</p><p> </p><p>Kitty seemed to get a bit antsy at hearing the confession of a negative thought and quickly got out of her seat, releasing Anna’s hand to go hug Anne. The act shocked Boleyn a little, but was reciprocated with her free arm. Soon after Cleves joined in, going to hug Anne and Cathy before Jane and Aragon soon moved from their seats to join them to show their support.</p><p> </p><p>Anne then felt the tears try and make their way back into her eyes, but she smiled, chuckling a little, “Dammit all, you’re all gonna make me cry. Thanks for taking me seriously and caring, Queens.”</p><p> </p><p>She heard a soft series of various positive responses, they stayed like that for a comfortable moment before they all settled on the ground and continued to discuss the matter more casually. The quick acceptance of this new challenge Anne has proved to her that she truly made the right choice in becoming a family with these wonderful women, not that she had much reason to doubt it in the first place. Though of course that reminded her that she really had to show her thanks to Cathy at some point for being so patient with her. Their acknowledgement and willingness to involve themselves with this issue made Boleyn feel more supported and free than she had in any of the last few weeks of being trapped in her own mind. She finally felt like, even with this mess of new emotions, she’d be alright.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading my little story. I love Anne so much, I hate to torture her with this but I just felt like if I were to put Misophonia onto any character she'd be the least likely to try and share it with the others or accidentally show her pain. I have Misophonia, which is what brought me to want to write about it, mostly out of sharing, not especially out of venting or anything. I'm unsure having Anne be in a decent mood at the beginning is correct for the first instance of experiencing Misophonia, mostly because I was super stressed the first time I experienced this. And now I just continue to experience it every time I head repetitive sounds. But thanks for reading my piece of Anne experiencing Misophonia and taking the time to learn about this. I wanted to show the queens supporting Anne in this, mostly because my parents don't support me despite me having shared this (so the idea of them supporting her warms my heart a little). Er, I'm unsure if I did well, I didn't particularly check over my work because I have to go do my college work now, feel free to criticize my work and tell me what I could do better. But anyway, thanks again for reading, have a good life.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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